so i just got done watching Chatroom and it made me think about two years ago when i wanted and tried to kill myself my senior year of high school. almost all of my friends were basically a lesser version of william. none of them really seemed to care except for one. they just called me out as having a “not caring bullshit attitude” and that i changed and stuff but no one really seemed to care enough to ask me what was wrong or if they could help. i didn’t really have anyone to see if i was okay, everyone was too concerned with themselves, especially the friends i had. and at this point in my life i have really discovered what my friends are really like. but i’m glad i don’t have the same relationship with them anymore because when it came down to it, they were some of the reason that none of those thoughts went away. they were the reason i thought no one cared about me. they were the reason i felt left out. but that chapter of my life is shut, and i think i’m gonna keep it that way.
please, if you ever think about killing yourself, know that people care. whether it’s your favorite band, your parents, or someone you don’t even know. just know that someone somewhere cares. i didn’t know that, but i’m glad i waited it out to figure that out. my ask box is always open and i’m more than willing to give out my phone number or facebook if anyone is feeling helpless. i don’t want anyone to go through what i did.